Other frequently asked questions from the Mogwai instruction manual

I fed my mogwai at 3:00pm and it turned into a gremlin. What did I do wrong?

It is possible that your mogwai is set to a different international timezone from the one you inhabit. This is particularly common for mogwai bought over the Internet. See chapter 3 for details of changing your mogwai's timezone.

I know that I should not spill water on my mogwai, but what if I accidentally spilled lemonade on him? Is that alright?

No. Lemonade, like many soft drinks and beverages, contains water and will cause your mogwai to reproduce uncontrollably if brought into contact.

Will my mogwai react unfavourably to other liquids? For example, my uncle tends to spray saliva when he talks passionately about vegetable farming.

Your mogwai will react unfavourably to any liquid that contains water, but can be fitted with a sneeze guard for added peace of mind. Sneeze guards and other accessories are available from all good Mysterious Old Chinese Guy Corner Emporiums.

How do I change the batteries in my mogwai? He seemed unhappy when I attempted this.

Your mogwai does not require batteries and no attempt should be made to insert them at any time.

If my mogwai reacts unfavourably to saliva, what if he falls asleep during a long car journey and drools on himself?

Your mogwai will not react unfavourably to its own saliva. See chapter 1: Dos and don'ts.

My mogwai is very musical but insists on singing the same annoying tune all the time. Is my mogwai compatible with iTunes?

No, however your mogwai can be taught to use an iPod, and will likely enjoy a mix of blues, jazz and reggae.

My home is not very well ventilated and tends to steam up when I cook. Will this affect my mogwai?

If your mogwai is left for too long in an overly moist environment, it will suffer adverse effects. For good care of your mogwai and peace of mind, it is recommended that a dehumidifier is used in such conditions unless adequate ventilation can be provided. Your mogwai can also be outfitted with a sporty silica gel fanny pack. Silica gel fanny packs, silica gel refills and other accessories are available from all good Mysterious Old Chinese Guy Corner Emporiums.

I laminated my mogwai to prevent him getting wet but now he doesn't move. Did I do something wrong?

Mogwai, like most living creatures, need to breathe. It is not recommended that you laminate your mogwai, but if you do so please ensure that he has adequate ventilation.

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